136# - 109# - 150# - What?

My weight is what...?

I am 5'9.5" tall.  Yes, I always count that half inch - at least I will until the inevitable shrinking starts. Anywho, I am tall for a gal - so they say.

I am used to being around people who are shorter than I am - and when I run into a female who is taller, I feel inadequate as a man.  Yes, I know I am not a man - just say'n...

I have always been on the lighter side - since birth anyway. The "cute in a 'why-don't-you-put-some-weight-on-those-bones-kind' of way..." as the lyrics go in the group's "Black Tape for a Blue Girl's" version of the "Knock Three Times" song.  My weight just stayed on the low end for the most part until about 10 years ago (when I was about 36 years old or so).  At that time, I embarked on a yo-yo weight odyssey.  An odyssey influenced by my mood, life stability, stress levels, activity, and 'diet' (and by diet I mean how I eat, not an actual "D-I-E-T").

At this time 2 years ago I was around 136 pounds. At this time one year ago, I was headed for my low of 109 pounds. Now, if you know anything about height/weight ratios, you will know from what I write here - that I was WAY TOO SMALL for my height. By February of this year, I hit my ALL TIME HIGH of 150 pounds.  OK, again, if you factor in my height, that is not a 'huge' deal visually or health wise. However, as much as I suck at math, I think that is a 37% gain.  My current weight is higher than it was when I was 9 months pregnant, with my sweet sweet daughter, 25 years ago.  That is an eye-opening concept in my book.  Impressive really.... 

So, a busy life, anxiety, stress, and depression - partially brought on by drama and major life changing events -rendered me unable to eat.  A lot of folks eat eat eat when they are stressed.  I just simply - stop.  I can drop 30 pounds in under 2 weeks.  Is this healthy?  HELL NO...

Oh no, can I say "HELL" on television?

I have had a love hate relationship with food for years, as I had, for many years of my life, not cared for most food enough to do anything but eat as necessity, not for the joy of it.

As time has gone on, and I started taking 'happy pills', I managed to start eating.

This opened the flood gates. Eat, Eat, Eat...

My "I'm full" button is broken.  I am eating anything that can't outrun me.  This, in and of itself, would not be so bad except I have added drinking at least 1 McDonald's Chocolate Chip Frappe' a day, adding a whopping 700+ calories to my daily intake. Then consider the Starbucks' Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato with whole milk and whip at over 500 calories as a nearly daily treat......  Oh, and the fact I can eat 8 Reese Cups in one sitting....  

Oh yes, why am I gaining weight?  Duh..................................

I will eat until I stop. It will all even out.  

I think that is enough on this subject.  I have Mayfield's Snow Cream Frozen Dessert in the freezer and heavy whipping cream to pour over the top....

This is soooooo NOT a "How to be Fit" post...

Blech 

I am NOT weighing myself anylonger